Chronic Illness Warrior

October 17, 2016

Dear Readers,

 

Most of you don’t know me and that’s okay! In effort for you to understand my motivation for writing and publishing, I’d like to share some personal things with you.

 

Our life changed drastically in 2004. I was in a bad car wreck that left me disabled. I did my best, going back to work three times before my rheumatologist said if I kept up the pace, I would end up killing myself in the process.

 

That made me listen.

 

I spent years depressed, wondering what I did wrong to be given such a terrible sentence. Being in pain and exhausted all the time really can wear a person down. I needed to find something that would allow me to get the anger and sadness out, but our lives were flipped upside once again.

 

In 2010, my husband found a job in Georgia. He works in the car business and where we were in New York, there wasn’t too much big business left to allow people to afford what their cars needed. His solution… Go where there are a lot of people, big business, and cars.

 

If we didn’t make a decision based on our immediate need, we wouldn’t have survived.

 

We sold our house, packed our bags, and moved 1000 miles away from our family and friends. Frankly, it sucked, but it was something we had to do.

 

Once settled in to our house, I began thinking about what I could do to help ease my mind. It’s a tornado. I live in a fog. My memory is terrible and I have concentration issues, all brought on by the accident. Not to mention an entire list of physical issues plaguing me.

 

While reading a book, I said writing can’t be that hard. I’m pretty sure that was the dumbest thing I have ever said.

 

Let’s face facts, folks. Writing is difficult. There is nothing easy about it. Let’s not forget everything else it involves. The process takes time. A lot of time and energy, which is something I don’t have.

 

As much as I hate to admit it, my illness and lingering injuries take over my life. Everything I do is catered to the possibility that I may not be able to get out of bed that day, or I have to nap several times just to be able to function enough to do the smallest task. This can be frustrating and at times, I can’t wrap my head around it.

 

My doctors in New York diagnosed me with an auto immune disorder. The doctors here in Georgia ripped that label off and said I have another illness. Soon, I will be seeing a new rheumatologist to find out why everything is continuing to decline lately. As you can imagine, this has been an incredibly frustrating time for us, but I found one thing that helps…

 

Writing.

 

I use it as a form of therapy. It helps me get out some of the frustrations and deal with my issues. While it is difficult, I do enjoy the process. It just takes me longer than others, and that’s something I cannot change. I can’t spend hours a day tied down to a desk, typing thousands of words at a time. I try though and every now and again, I need a reminder of how many obstacles I face and how far I’ve come as a writer.

 

Will it ever get any easier? Probably not, but I’m not going to let my health issues steal away the worlds I have developed. These same worlds have helped others with their struggles. Hearing that from my readers is priceless. It keeps me motivated and helps me get through the days that are terrible.

 

So thank you, readers! Your motivational words are part of the reason why I smile when I write. I can’t wait to show what’s next.

 

Much Love to You,

Rissa Blakeley

A.K.A Chronic Illness Warrior

 

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 NOTE: This blog post is featured on Indies United today as well.

 

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